I’m a working mom with two kids, and I have struggled with the guilt and frustration of going back to my job after giving birth. Working moms everywhere know exactly how this feels! So ladies, I’ve written a book that pulls together 50 things I’ve learned — in hopes that they may help you too. Here are just a few:
Work With Your Partner, Not Against Them
This was a huge lesson that I learned when I first had my son. I felt like my husband and I battled about every little thing: who made the bottles, who did the laundry, who put the bed back together, etc. We looked at what the other didn’t do, as opposed to looking for what the other had accomplished. Since we both worked, and spent a lot of time at home with the kids, we didn’t take the time to say ‘thank you’ to one another.
We found each other saying, “You didn’t do this…” instead of saying, “Hey, I saw you cleaned up the garage, thank you.” We both felt like the other wasn’t paying attention to the tasks that got done, but rather on those jobs that never got finished (or started). We took each other for granted and did not show the other some appreciation when due.
Over time, and many tough talks later, we finally started to work together. We learned to say ‘thank you’ for both the work we do at home and at the office. It was a hard lesson learned for both us, but it was what made us grow closer and stronger together.
This Isn’t 1950 Anymore, But Some People Still Think It Is
I feel this way more with the people that grew up in that era or were products of those who did. I know a lot of older men and women who seem to think, “Why would you work? You need to be home with your kids.” I have come face-to-face with a few of them myself. While I get what they are saying, they also don’t completely understand what it takes to have a family in this present day.
There was a time, when a grocery bill didn’t surpass $100, an insurance deductible didn’t make you flinch in anger, and the price of gas was actually reasonable. Their hearts are in the right place, but the idea that we can do what they did years ago and survive financially, is really not possible. Just take into perspective, the era that many elders grew up in and raised their own families. If they were to walk a day in our shoes, they would definitely see it’s not 1950 anymore.
People Have Opinions, But That Can’t Dictate Your Happiness
Everyone seems to have an opinion on this mommy battleground topic of working versus staying home. I see both sides of the story, and I understand that what makes one woman happy, may not make another one feel the same way.
The most important thing to remember, is do what makes you happy, even if others make you feel differently. It’s not their happiness that matters when raising a family, you have to be feel complete internally, so you can be the best mom you can be.
As a famous quote says, “I can’t tell you the key to success, but I can tell you the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” The same goes for being a working mom! Do what’s best for you because your family will ultimately see a happier you in the end.